Can you fix my computer?

I thought I would type an article about something I am asked multiple times a week and sometimes a few times in just 1 day!  Now, relatives and close friends- do not take offense!  I don’t mind occasionally helping out a loved one, especially when it would cost you big bucks.  For the rest of you though- shame on you!  That’s putting it nicely.  How do you feel when someone asks you for a massage because they know you are a massage therapist?  Perhaps my teeth are looking a little yellow and I can’t get that piece of stringy asparagus out from between my teeth- you’re a dentist!  Get your ass over here and get to work!  Please?  Ha!  I obviously am venting and blowing things perfectly into the proportions that would fit directly into your optical sensors for pure absorption into your cerebral cortex.

Honestly I actually do like fixing things.  There is some feeling of accomplishment when I overcome a large obstacle that technological Chinese bungles have placed before me.  Is bungle even a word?  Sometimes I build projects (like my recent Building a Hackintosh foray) just to push my limits.  I didn’t REALLY need to build a Hackintosh right now, I could have waited for my new job where I can afford a mac….nah… this is more fun.

At work I get asked daily if I can backup these files, fix this printer, find out why the network is down, get the internet working, run cat5 cables under the building, activate a Nextel radio, program gps, fix someone’s cell phone, install a new operating system, you name it- if it has to do with computers I have been asked to perform it- and have completed my assignment.  The interesting thing is – my job is not currently as an IT professional.  I work around computers, but who doesn’t?  If you’re a McDonald’s employee you use a computer register, a pilot- your plane has a computer and is being flown by navigational software, a construction worker?- PDA.  They are everywhere- you cannot get away from computers.  Which I guess is good for me seeing that aside from playing music, I have bowed down and completely submersed my battered and abused post-punk musician’s brain in technological green goo.

How do you feel when friends and relatives ask you to fix their computers or PDAs?  How about coworkers?  Acquaintances?  Do you do it?  What kind of crazy things have you been asked to do?  Did you do it?

My top 3 computer repair requests:

#1: Climbing amongst rat corpses and sewage to run a CAT5 cable under a building.  (I said NO!)

#2: Fixing a desktop so consumed by porn and viruses that upon boot up over 500 pop-ups would appear and multiply until the system froze and crashed.  (I completely recovered this desktop)

#3: Cleaning up a computer full of malware where the keyboard was set to Japanese and the mouse buttons were backwards and a single click functioned as a double.  (Recovered)

I bet I have worse stories than that- offhand there was a the rat-poop printer and the rotten donut dvd drive.  I’ll save those for later.

goodnight.

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About Jonathan G. Nelson

Jonathan G. Nelson is the editor-in-chief and owner of NERD TREK. He is also owner/publisher at AAW Games / AdventureAWeek.com, a tabletop gaming company based in Snoqualmie, WA. Connect with Jonathan via Facebook.